Texas, Our Texas

We just got back from spending a month in Texas. Why we chose August, I will never know. Joe was here for 14 days at the beginning and he pointed out that every day he was here was during the 14-day heat wave of temps over 100. Of course it was broken at that point by a 99 degree day followed by several more 100s days. We finally got a cool front that brought temps down to 97. That was actually the term the meteorologists were using: "cool front". Sheesh. Joe, back at home, has been sleeping with the windows open. When my Dad heard this bit of information he shouted, "Oh no! The air-conditioning went out?!" Because let's face it, for someone that has grown up in Texas, the idea of sleeping with the windows open in August is completely ludicrous and would only happen during the most dire of circumstances. Like a broken AC. Dad would never dream that it would be in the 60s-70s in DC (or ANYWHERE) during the month of August.

About the heat, I just forget how oppressive it is down here. I know Dallas doesn't have it as bad as Houston (I have no idea how those guys survive/breathe down there), but it is shocking when you step outside. It almost hurts. There are many lakes in the Dallas area, and while here, Joe decided that if we ever moved back we would have to live very close to one. It's just so hot for 6 months out of the year that if you are outside, water must be involved. And we like being outside.

(I would also like to add for posterity's sake that if Joe decides to move us back to Texas at any point, I will need a pool in MY backyard. Thank you.)

There are several other things that have been on our minds since we've been here, unique to Texas, we think, that we would like to share:

1. You know how you always wonder who on earth wears the clothes you see on fashion runways? I mean, you never see those clothes walking around in real life. Unless you are in Dallas, specifically at Northpark Mall. For those of you in the DC area, Northpark is the size of the regular Tysons, with stores like Tysons Galleria. Northpark is anchored by Neiman Marcus, which has been the pride of Dallas retail since 1907. When you walk in to Northpark Neiman's you can expect to be quickly assessed with a once over look by the nearest salesperson, to see if they think you are really there to buy something. Talking to a friend here at home I was told of her mother, who though does quite well financially, has always loathed the culture of Neiman's. Recently, after searching every other store for a dress for her son's wedding, her husband forced her to check at Neiman's. So just to spite the salespeople, she wore her rattiest sweats and proceeded to buy a very expensive dress (that at least she loved).

Anyway, Northpark, and Dallas for that matter, is all about status. How you look, what you drive, who you know. And so I guess when you are out shopping for your status symbols you have to look like you just walked off the runway yourself. I have a close friend who grew up shopping with her mom at Northpark and she recently told me that she doesn't even go there anymore. Despite the fact that she loves clothes, she feels that even if she puts on her best outfit to have an outing at Northpark and still feels grubby and judged amongst the atmosphere, it's probably not a healthy thing. I totally agree. Not that that stopped Mom and me from spending 2 days there searching for a dress for an upcoming wedding for my Mom. What can I say? You can't beat the selection.

Moving on, but still talking about the status issue...

2.There is a suburb north of DFW called Southlake. In 2008, Forbes named it the most affluent neighborhood in the United States. It's all big houses, nice shops, and exemplary schools. The high school wins practically every state championship in every sport. Not really, but it seems that way. I think the football team three-peated a few years ago, which in Texas translates to all-out idol worship. But here's where the crazy comes in: I recently learned that people who do NOT live in Southlake buy Southlake Carroll football/sport bumper stickers to put on their cars so that people will THINK that they live there. Are you kidding me?

3. I just feel that the radio stations in Dallas play an entirely different selection of music in the "hip and cool" genre. I kept hearing this song called "Club Can't Handle Me", with the main idea being "this club can't even handle me right now". Which by the way, I am thinking of making that my life theme song. And then there's Eminem's new song "I Love the Way You Lie" HUH? I won't even attempt to understand that. How am I missing these AWESOME songs up here? Listening to the wrong radio stations in my old age?

(p.s. if you don't realize the word "awesome" above is sarcasm, then we may have to re-evaluate our friendship)

4. I was in the trenches of my first trimester while in Texas which meant a lot of sick time on the couch watching TV. Joe and I were shocked, SHOCKED, by the amount of bariatric surgery commercials on Dallas TV. (Bariatric surgery being the type where they reduce the size of your stomach with a lap band or staples. And then you lose weight because you can't put much food in your stomach) We understand that for some people this is the only option for them to lose weight to become healthier and reclaim their lives. And thank goodness for this procedure! However, we have NEVER seen a single advertisement for this on TV in DC. But when seemingly every doctor in town that performs the surgery is shouting to the MASSES about it on television we get suspicious. And I think it all goes back to the STATUS issue in Dallas. All about how you look- and there go all sorts of people running to the Dr. offices asking about it. Oh dear.

5. To end on a positive note, we will discuss the superior taste of the food in Texas. For years we have been telling our local friends that we would love to take them home just to eat for the weekend. And eat we did. Except I didn't. Until the last week of the month, because I was only eating crackers and fruit. But normally we EAT. For breakfast we can run down the street to get breakfast burritos or donuts at the mom and pop places that are found in each town. (We're not talking Dunkin' Donuts here). For lunch there is heavenly Jason's Deli (which technically there is a couple of locations in DC, but only a couple), Chicken Express, Whataburger and Taco Bueno. For dinner you can eat Tex-Mex or Steak. That's it. And there are way too many places to name to get those things. For Tex-Mex, the best comes from hole-in-the-wall places and a good steak can be had anywhere from a local chain to a fancy restaurant. Oh my goodness I am so hungry now.

Alright, so I didn't exactly discuss the taste of the food in Texas. That would make me sad and hungry and I'm also a little lazy today.